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Celibacy does not guarantee a great relationship

Sex is good. Scratch that. Sex is ahhhhmazing!!! I mean when done right, and especially with the love of your life. Oh Lawd. Don’t get me started.

In the moment of this glorious activity, the euphoric feeling of orgasmic pleasure is the only way I can explain heaven on earth.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. Yeah. I love it all. Hugs. Kisses. Cuddles. Hands running through my hair softly. Sweet text professing eternal love to me in the morning. Surprises. A spontaneous ” I love you baby ” text during the day. I could go on and on, but I bet you won’t be patient to read it all. But you get the point. I love love 😍.

My first boyfriend was my Prince charming in shinning armor. In the first three months of the relationship mostly.

He was my alarm clock. By 6am, he’d call to whisper good morning to me. And I, with my croaky early morning voice and sleepy eyes will grunt with pleasure.

He’d say something like ” Hey.” His voice would send soothing chills all over me. I’d smile and reply with a “Hey ” too. Just like the movies. Then he’d go on and profess his undying love to me, and afterwards, encourage me to go make good use of my time.

Here I was, with a boo that loved me, and also cared about my productivity. Good gracious. What more could a girl ask for?

Mind you too. My bae is foinnnne. I mean drop dead -gorgeous -kinda -fine. Spotless glossy brown skin, that enclosed his tall, chiseled frame. His face? OMG! Eyes like the moon, with sparkly deep brown iris, like nutella. When he smiled, his dimples prided itself. His brows winged perfectly. He had facial hair in all the right places, and just the appropriate amount. My man was Mr universe. No caps.

I always looked forward to weekends, because I would spend quality time with boo. He does his best to come see me at my shared apartment, on his way home from work. However, some days we don’t see because of you know, unforeseen circumstances. Plus some days ,absence is good, because it makes the heart grow fonder. But weekends? They are uncompromised. Nothing gets in the way of our weekend meet up and grind. Take my word for it. Nothing.

Like I said earlier on, my boo cares about my productivity. LOL. Just saying this now, makes me feel some type of way. That’s not the point. let me not digress.

Weekdays were busy for me, because of school. At the time I met boo, I was in second year of Uni. Studying Mass Communication.

Boo rules was simple : No coming over to my place, except on weekends, so you could concentrate at school. Sounds reasonable, won’t you agree? For the rest of the weekdays? Boo would visit, and would even plan weekday hang out now and then. But sleepovers during weekdays was marked “X” in our relationship calendar.

So you understand why I loved weekends. I’d sleepover, and get really booed up. All those things I like, remember? Kisses. Hugs. Cuddle. And em…. of course hot -out -of- this world – lovers -in – love- orgasmic – Sex. What’s left to say? I love my boo, and my boo loves me too.

Our relationship was the best brand of coffee, until three months after we started dating. Boo changed.

We started having more fights. I’m not dumb, I didn’t expect fairy tales and candy, I know that relationships have their ups and downs. But me and boo stayed down mostly. And it was an exhausting place to be.

He started master planning my life. At first, it was sweet and thoughtful. Like when he got me facial and body scrub. I didn’t have a single spot on my face, but he assured me that the avocado scrub he got me, would make my skin more soft and supple. I liked that.

But later on, he became full blown controlling. Mid sex, he’d pull out, and ask me to go wear stiletto heels. He actually bought it, and kept it in his house for this purpose. It was strange, but I obliged. But It didn’t stop in the bedroom.

He bought me a set of thongs, transparent bras and lingerie, and would ask that I should put it on, only when I was coming to visit, but I shouldn’t wear it any where else. Silly me. I thought this was so romantic. Because he kept saying ” I want you to wear it for me alone. No one else but me. ” So once again I obliged.

My brain rebooted when we had a fight, because I refused to follow him out of town, for a fun trip. His friends, three of them actually, were coming along too, each with their woman. I get it. I would have loved to go with my man too. However, I didn’t just say no to this trip, because I knew how to say the word. I had exams, and I needed to study. Exams require some inner calmness and focus. I can’t throw caution to the wind, and fail my exams, because boo wants us to go on a fun trip. Do you get? That’s what I told him, and he went bonkers on me. He said all sorts of things to me.

That I was a selfish spoilt brat, who didn’t give a smelling shit about anybody. Where did my prince charming who cared about my productivity go? Was an alien from Jupiter in possession of his mental faculties?

From then onward, our relationship was mostly sour. I loved him, and didn’t want to give up on us easily. Phew! But there’s only so much a girl like me can chew.

The straw that broke the camel’s back, was when he took my clothes and soaked them in water.

Here’s the story: remember how I told you that I only sleep over at boo’s only on weekends? Yeah. So this particular weekend, I went over as usual. So on Sunday evening, I was setting to leave and return back to my shared apartment, and boo said I shouldn’t leave. He wanted me to stay longer and all. I wanted to stay too.

But then, I had an early lecture by 7am the next day. The lecturer was a strict woman, and had a lateness policy. If she walked into the class before you,she wouldn’t let you in. That wasn’t even all, she took attendance personally, and was known for being unpredictable. Just like that, she could decide to give an impromptu test or quiz. I couldn’t risk that. So I explained to boo. Yet, he persisted.

When he realized that I wasn’t bulging, he yanked my clothes from me. I ran after him, but before I could do anything, he went to the bathroom, put my clothes in a bucket, and filled it with water. I guess he forgot I had long showered, and was already putting on my white T-shirt and ripped jeans.

I left his house angrily. All I could think about was how selfish and mean he had been. So by soaking my clothes in water, he planned to render me powerless. I wouldn’t have a choice, but to stay back at his place. Thankfully I had clothes on already.

The aftermath of this, was that I broke up with boo. Prior to this, I naturally assumed that a person would only have to cheat, or beat you, before you break up with them. Well, I now know first hand, that ,that’s not true at all.

Boo was a gigantic jerk. And that was good enough reason to cut the strings.

Oh God where are my manners? Pardon me for dumping my life story on you, without even introducing myself to you. How rude of me. I’m sorry.

My name is Cynthia Jigiwa (most people jokingly call me Jigawa, to mean one of the states in Nigeria, West Africa. To be honest, I don’t find this joke funny). I’m currently a mass communicator. A mass communist. Whatever. You get the point. I studied mass communication in uni. I’m still a hopeless romantic, but evolved, and I have good judgement now (So I believe :))

Long after my break up with boo number one. Long after I had noted my mistakes, nursed my wounds, accepted my regrets, and hung my scars. I decided to try dating again. Dating with a twist actually. I would be celibate.

Celibacy is voluntarily making a vow to say no to any form of sexual activity, until marriage. That’s what I did. Make a vow that screams no to sex, and any form of activity that will involve touching genitals.

I would meet a great guy, we would hit it off, and when I brought in my MOT(moment of truth). He would say he can’t stay in a relationship that is sexless. Well this went on and on with all the great guys I met, until

I met Kunle. He was a fellow in celibacyship academy. So we hit it off really strong.

At this point I would take a break. When it comes to matters of the heart, the story shouldn’t be rushed.

Come back here next week Tuesday, and I’d tell you all about me and Kunle ‘s sexless relationship.

Have a great week,

Love from, Cindy(since we’re now friends, you can call me Cindy :))

Comment below. Share with your friends. And bring your popcorn next Tuesday. The gist is plentiful. Raw and uncensored, I promise. 😍

About Venicia Iroakazi

Hi. I'm a Wordweaver and I truly enjoy making words come alive.

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26 comments

  1. Wow is all I can say to this! Fantastic way of description, but well I’m not suprised. This work right here is coming from someone who has been my personal editor for two years now! Keep this up yucee! #we move

  2. Fantastic work yucee! Masterpiece in fact!

  3. Great content… i like

  4. Very great content… looking foward to the next.

  5. I came here just to glance but story caught me hands down. I was forced to complete . Amazing work !

  6. Wow Wow Wow!
    This is beautiful….every line was captivating. I enjoyed the flow…
    Venicia you’re a killer writer
    More grease to your elbow

  7. I don’t like this kinda suspense jor

    It was a great story

  8. Adanna kelechi Akobundu

    Mhen! I thought he as watching a movie till I finished reading! This was epic, flawless, amazing.

  9. Veniiiiiiii , this was amazing.I loved this read.. cant wait for the next one…

  10. Yucee my dear, this is a masterpiece. Kudos dear

  11. Super nice piece. Trust me I’m hooked to this blog now.

    Way to go Coz!

  12. This is simply amazing, I’m definitely coming back next week with my popcorn

  13. I don’t think this is fiction because each word is more alive than I could explain… And the suspense …. na correct gist suspense I’m looking forward to Tuesday gist.

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