We’ve all felt emotional pain and we’ve all been hurt. That’s a given, I mean it’s part of life. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, being abandoned by a parent, a sudden break up, failure from school or work. At one point in our lives we’ve been hurt. And we’d still get hurt and we can still get over it.
I remember experiencing my second heart break. It felt like the entire world pierced my heart with a kitchen knife. I cried till my eyes couldn’t cry anymore. It was one of the worst times of my life.
I was in this relationship, and everything seemed to be going fine. I had even forseen how we’d end up married, with kids, in our home. I had painted our own version of happily ever after. And then, just like that, it was over. My dreams came crashing down.
I couldn’t understand what had happened. I tried to wrap my mind around the breakup, but it was hard to accept. I totally lost it.
Emotional anguish is hard to deal with. And even though we can’t see it, like a wound on the knee or on any part of the body, it’s there, jabbing at us hard.
How do you deal with this sort of pain?
How do you let go of all the hurt, and get on with your life happily?
1. Acknowledge the pain
First things first. Accepting that you’re going through an emotional pain is the first thing you need to do. It’s a healthy healing process. Don’t try to mask your pain with alcohol, or rebound relationships, or whatever. Come clean to yourself. Vent. Cry. Scream. Let it out.
2. Run to God
God is your best Ally. He knows how to comfort you, and soothe areas in your soul that no one can. In Psalms 34:18 he assures us that when we’re broken hearted he’d be there, right next to us, giving us the strength, wisdom and grace we’d need to get through the pain.
3. Confide in trusted friends (visit a therapist /counsellor)
You need to reach out to trusted friends or a therapist. Open up to them, and let them in on what happened. When you’re going through rough times, you need other people to comfort you, and be the shoulder you can lean on. Also, they can tell you the truth in love, and help you in your healing process. When you share your burden with the people you trust, you feel empowered, like some weight is off your shoulders.
4. Sober reflection is important
You need to take into account all that has happened. Why you feel the way you feel? If you contributed in some way, how do you get better next time? What are your regrets? If you lost a loved one, note what you miss about them, and how grateful you are to have known them.
5. Make someone happy
You may not know this, but when you put effort into making other people smile, you’d feel better. It helps you focus on bettering yourself by contributing to the happiness of others. You could join a voluntary organization in your community, or find ways to put a smile on someone’s face. A lovely text message could do.
6. Be patient
It would take time for you to move on. Truth is, you won’t forget about the person that caused you pain. However, a time would come when you’d remember them, and not feel hurt anymore, because you’ve forgiven them and yourself too. So, don’t be hard on yourself. Healing is a gradual process, and you’d definitely be fine, one day.
There are more ways other than the ones listed here, to overcome emotional pain. However I do hope you find these 6 points useful. Also, if you’re going through a painful time right now, I send you comfort and all the hope. You’d be fine soon. 🙂