It’s a beautiful thing, to have someone you love, love you back and care for you deeply. Someone you can call on the phone at anytime in the day, and talk about anything, from random to serious. You even get butterflies when you see them, and you melt inside like chocolate exposed to the sun.
All those exciting feelings of love , the chemistry and all that goofiness we feel towards a person, is good. Who wants to be with someone they don’t feel a thing for?
However, feelings are not the only reason to get into a relationship with a person. There are other important qualities to look out for, because you don’t need someone who will be there when things are rosy, you also need a partner who will stand firm by you, when the going gets really tough.
A lot of times, it’s easy to ignore reasoning, especially when you’re feeling all sort of good vibes about this person. He’s so sweet. She’s so thoughtful. Look at the meme he sent me. Aww she makes me feel so good.
Most relationships that failed, had all these good vibes in the beginning, but then, it didn’t tarry for long, before all hell went loose.
Here are some of the reasons relationships don’t work out.
1.Your values are worlds apart
Values are your guiding principles for how you do life. It’s your personal ethics for how you respond to other people and in situations. Imagine that some of your values are : respect for other people’s decisions, honesty, treating people with respect and kindness and being punctual to dates and meetings. But your partner is the exact opposite of all these values you have. he talks rudely to the waiter, she’s always late for dates, he’s dishonest and very brash.
Even though she’s your sweet angel, you’re going to have fights over your values. And if she’s not willing to change her ways, it won’t be long before your relationship falls apart.
2.Communication is not prioritized
Lack of communication shuts a relationship down faster than anything. Communication is how you get to learn each other’s story, deepen your friendship and closeness. Without it, you’d assume your partner is who they’re not. If you don’t want a relationship full of speculations, you’ve got to talk and listen, a lot.
You can’t be undercover in your relationship. It doesn’t always end well. It can be scary, but you’ve got to muster the courage to be your truest self. Else if you fake it all along, one day, your true colours are going to pop through the cracks, and your partner would be hurt and feel deceived. So you see, falsehood will always trample on relationships.
4. Scorecards of wrongs
If your partner hurts you, talk it through with them. Often times, they might not be aware that their actions may be hurting you.
If you keep quiet, you would be stockpiling all the wrongs they’ve done in your heart, and one day you’d definitely implode. Also, once you’ve talked it out with them, and they genuinely apologize, and change their ways, by all means don’t bring it up again. Throw it out the window. If you keep bringing up wrongs, after amends, your partner would defend themselves, by withdrawing emotionally from you. They’d see you as a critical judge.
5.Comparing your relationship
There’s nothing wrong with being inspired by other people’s relationship. After all, you don’t know it all and a little good tip here and there won’t hurt. Nevertheless, no relationship is the standard. People are still figuring it all out. Comparison is a thief. And it will steal your happiness, the moment you start comparing your relationship to others.
All relationships have their ups and downs. But then you want to have this rollercoaster ride with someone that is in for real. I hope this article helped 🙂